Author : Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of the time.
Perhaps you have assumed that these people are just naturally happy,
or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had
really loving parents. Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the
truth.Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and
behavior. Happy people CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and behave in
ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people are UNCONSCIOUSLY
thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make:OPTIMISMHappy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose
to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking
does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life.
Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic.
Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its
doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and
open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people
realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that
leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move
themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.KINDNESSHappy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves
and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves
and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait
to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize
that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the
CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not
they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness
is the result.FORGIVENESSHappy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who
have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment
makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness
and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not
to take personally others' uncaring behavior, they don't get their feelings
hurt in the same way that people do who take others' behavior
personally. Happy people recognize that another's behavior is really
about that other person, so they move into compassion toward
themselves and others rather than into judgment.ACCEPTANCEHappy people realize what they can control and what they can't. They
live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the things they cannot change and
changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to
change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of
control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realize
they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they
can control – their own thinking and behavior. Acceptance of what they
can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.GRATITUDEFinally, happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather
than complaining about what they don't have. They notice the many gifts
and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude
for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the food they
eat, the smile on a friend's face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even
many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight,
hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on
what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what
they are missing out on.If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that happiness is
the result of your thinking and behavior, not the cause of it. If you choose
to focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behavior make
you feel happy, you can become a happy person – regardless of your
present circumstances. Happiness does not just happen – it takes work!Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight
books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and
"Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner
Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site
for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or email her
at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
Keyword : Happiness, inner peace, self help, personal development, self esteem, self improvement, motivation
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