The Seasons Of Life, Part 4 of 5

Author : Jim Rohn
This week is Part Four of our five part series on The Season's of Life.In Part One of the series we discussed:a) That life is about constant, predictable patterns of change.b) For all of us, the only constant factor is our feelings and attitudes toward life.c) We as human beings have the power of attitude and that attitude determines choice, and choice determines results.In Part Two of our series we discussed:a) Life and business are like the changing seasons.b) You cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself.c) A major lesson in life to learn is how to handle the winters.d) Winter time allows you to get stronger, wiser, better. The winters won't change, but you can.In Part Three of our series we discussed:a) Spring is the season for entering the fertile fields of life with seed, knowledge, commitment, and a determined effort.b) It is the promise of spring that as we sow, so shall we also reap, that for every disciplined human effort we will receive a multiple reward.c) There are just a handful of springs that have been handed to each of us. Don't just let the seasons pass by.This week we will talk about the third major lesson in life to learn; how to nourish and protect your crops all summer. Sure enough, as soon as you've planted, the busy bugs and noxious weeds are out to take things over. Here is the next bit of truth: they will take it, unless you prevent it.There are two key phrases to consider with the third major lesson. The first is "all good will be attacked." Don't press me for a reason. I was not in on some of the early decisions, so I don't know why. I just know that it's true. Let reality be your best beginning. Every garden will be invaded.The second phrase is "all values must be defended." Social values, political values, friendship values, business values - all must be defended. Every garden must be tended all summer. If you don't develop this skill, you'll never wind up with anything of value.But for those who make diligent efforts to plant, protect, and preserve there are not enough birds, bugs, or other obstacles to destroy all the efforts of last spring.(Next week we will talk about fall, the time of harvesting the fruits from our springtime labor.)To Your Success,Jim Rohn********************************************************
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Keyword : seasons of life,success,self improvement,wealth building,success tips,jim rohn,goals,mentors,lifesty

Launch Yourself Into Living

Author : Drew Vics
Memorial Day weekend, 2004, found my wife and I along with friends,
relaxing in a nice camp setting in Hershey, Pennsylvania. We had a
great time at the Hershey Factory Tour Experience, which included,
among a dozen other attractions, an excellent 3D movie presentation
which wasn't quite like a movie at all, but a true experience, complete
with misters and blowers that would alternately sprinkle you with a fine
spray of water or tickle your ankles with a subtle burst of air, in concert
with events happening on screen. An exploding green blob or skittering
spider-like creatures for example. There were occasions when a the
sweet odor of chocolate would waft through the air as well.It was an enjoyable trip, and I certainly recommend it to anyone who
doesn't mind waiting in line and being surrounded by not very subtle
Hershey advertising on the way to see some great displays of combined
art and technology in action. The cartoony, artsy look of the whole
atmosphere is what I really enjoyed, it's a fun world of chocolate, that's
for sure.Hershey Park, right next door to the Factory Experience, is not much
different. You stand on line, surrounded by Hershey, Hershey, Hershey!
And this time your waiting for the ride of your life. I got my butt kicked by
a blazing, lightning bolt of a Stallion (or was it a Mustang?) on the
newest roller coaster, Storm Runner. Talk about terror. Barely 25
seconds of pure adrenaline and practically involuntary bellowing. You
have to get the excitement out somehow.While I was there at the park, enjoying the rides and the displays, I was
thinking about my life back at home, and how much I would like it to be
different, exciting and fun. It seems like I'm forever putting off living just to
wait for the "big break". And lately I've begun to realize that in order to
have a life, one must live. Seems like that would be an obvious thing for
humans to comprehend, but I see it's not. Waiting equates to just
existing, going through the motions. I want to live, without having to wait
for a reason why, without someone telling me when. I want to dictate
when and how I live. Now!In the song "Enemy Within" by Rush, Neil Peart writes:For you, is it movent or is it action
Is it contact or just reaction
and you, revolution, just resistance
Is it living, or just existence
Yeah you, it takes a little more persistence
to get up and go the distance.I may have cited those words in another essay, but they speak volumes
of truth and I can't help but include them here. You can never have too
much of a good thing.Yeah, I want to live, not exist. I want to go the distance. Those words, like
many others by Neil Peart, are inspiring to me and make me want to
strive for a fuller, richer life, yet at times I still find myself wishing for a big
break so I can live without having to worry about working all the time.
Seems like we work more than we live nowadays, doesn't it?I want to conquer the enemy within who keeps telling me I'm not good
enough. The enemy that steals my nerve and weakens my resolve. The
trick is to recognize and acknowledge the existence of the enemy inside
yourself, then you can begin to dismantle it, piece by piece, restrictive
claw by restrictive claw.When I saw those big painted signs and creative displays, the colorful
art and various smiling characters at Hershey, it gave me the urge to
create things and bring more color into my life. Yes, they may be
advertisements of a sort, but those smiling cartoons and chocolate faces
made me happy and kept me entertained. We all need happiness and
entertainment.Milton Hershey built quite an empire. Now I'd like to start building mine,
however small it may end up to be. I will be happy, and live. I'm going to
make my break, not wait. Like being launched to the top of an 18 story
vertical climb on Storm Runner, I'm going to launch myself into a life of
living! No more waiting. Care to join me?Drew Vics, an artist, writer & musician from New Jersey, writes for
Myeyez.net, and for other websites online.
Keyword : quote on living life,life worth living,living life to the fullest,fullest life living quote

The Importance of Friendship

Author : Jeffrey Miller
My students and clients have constantly heard me stress that our Martial Art is more than just a physical discipline; that it is a discipline that develops both the mind and body. This is so important that Soke Masaaki Hatsumi, the grand master of our lineages, has made it the primary thrust of just about every one of his books about Ninpo and Martial Arts in general.The presence of mind that your training demands helps you make wise and thoughtful decisions. Often, these decisions involve choosing others as friends - and all of us would like to choose good friends - people we can consider real "team players."It's sometimes very mysterious why we choose who we do as team players. Often we like a person right away based on some intuitive thought or feeling. When asked, we say that it just "felt" right. Other times we may observe someone for a while with admiration, and build up to a formal introduction.Friendship is a wonderful thing and is vitally important for personal growth and success. It can be found on the Ninja's Kongokai mandala used in Japanese Mikkyo esoteric mind-science training. Found in the 'wind' realm which represents surrendering oneself to a greater good where the total result produced is equal to much more than just the sum of the parts added together.Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by what we call "vibes," or a strange and electric power of attraction. This is what gives it such a terrific and seemingly magical power to tie people together so closely. All the same, our first impressions can often be mistaken. We've all made mistakes before in the friends we've chosen. Often, we'd like to ignore, forget, or believe that we had anything to do with the selection, but we shouldn't. It's these lessons that remind us that we are human and make mistakes, as-well-as the fact that not everyone we meet will enter into a relationship (whether business, personal, etc.), for the same reasons that we do. It's not right or wrong - good or bad. It's just life.There's really no way to be 100% certain that everyone, or anyone, you choose as a friend will turn out to be a good team player. But, the Martial Arts Academy 'is' a terrific place to meet new people, especially those with many of the same interests, and often with the same focus and desire for purpose, power, and interdependence (as opposed to dependence or co-dependence) in their affiliations. Many lifelong friendships have begun in the dojo ("martial arts training hall"). Here are some tips on how to choose friends that might be right for you.[a] Look for people who share the same basic values that you do. The Martial arts teach certain values and principles that you should know to look for. Honesty, respect, individuality - these are all good qualities that a lot of people share. Having friends with these qualities will make it a lot easier for you to feel relaxed and at ease when you're with them. You want to develop friendships that will be both fun and rewarding - mutually beneficial to all parties involved. One person should never carry the burden of trying to make a relationship "work."[b] Look for people who respect your decisions. Your friends will have different tastes than you do. They should respect your freedom of choice, just as you should respect theirs. Sometimes you may feel that a friend is not making a positive choice. Discuss these issues. Nothing is more important to friendship than communication and honesty. Discuss things with parents or significant others and your instructor(s) as well.[c] Look for people who are real team players. You know what that means: people who are willing to stick by you through thick and thin, who will be there when you need them, and will show you the understanding that you in turn give back. A friend you know you can depend on is one you will probably have for life.There will be times when you feel that a friend of yours is consistently making bad choices, or is not treating you with respect. The Ninja Warrior takes pride in understanding: try to see where your friend is coming from, and try to resolve any differences you might have. Don't be afraid to talk to your parents, spouse, or your instructor. They have the benefit of experience, and are always looking out for your best interests. There are very few things as precious as having good friends, and you should not let them go easily. Hold onto your friendships; let them know you value them and do your best to solve problems as quickly as they arise. Trust your instincts and follow your heart!Jeffrey M. Miller is the founder and master instructor of Warrior Concepts International. A senior teacher in the Japanese warrior art of Ninjutsu, he specializes in teaching the ancient ways of self-protection and personal development lessons in a way that is easily understood and put to use by modern Western students and corporate clients. Through their martial arts training, his students and clients learn proven, time-tested lessons designed to help them create the life they've always dreamed of living, and the skills necessary for protecting that life from anything that might threaten it. To learn more about this and other subjects related to the martial arts, self-defense, personal development & self-improvement, visit his website at http://www.warrior-concepts-online.com
Keyword : friendship, personal development, self-improvement,choices, choice, friend,ninjutsu, martial arts

No Problem!

Author : Nisandeh Neta
Thanks to Walt Disney's "The Lion King", children the world over know the Swahili expression "Hakuna Matata". It means "No Problem" and we grown-ups should use it more often.I used to come home and my wife would say, "We have a crisis!" I would immediately think that our daughter was in a hospital, the car broke down, or her mother was coming to stay with us. But it was usually just that the washing machine was broken, or she couldn't get a babysitter for our movie date.It is easy to turn a minor disruption into a major disaster. Don't do it! It lowers the energy of everyone involved and makes you want to run away. Instead, take the energy you are wasting on worrying and complaining about the "ifs", "buts" and "shoulds" - and direct it toward finding the solution.Problem-solving requires awareness and becoming aware of the problem is often enough to solve it. To sharpen your awareness, take a look at the problem from three different perspectives:1. Accept that the problem is really just a FACT, or set of facts.Situation: You parked in a no-parking zone and your car was just towed.You may be furious about it, but the fact remains that the car was towed. If you detach yourself momentarily from your feelings, and look strictly at the facts, it will be easier to put things into perspective. Just imagine that someone else's car was towed. Would you feel the same about it? Probably not! You would probably think, "Well that's what happens when you park in a tow-away zone."So, act as if the problem belonged to your neighbor and not yourself...Now, there are no more problems - only facts!2. Be willing to see your problem as a CHALLENGE.What's more fun: dealing with a problem, or facing a new challenge?Situation: You've just had another fight with someone close. Arguing is not going to achieve anything.You can treat the situation (or the person) as a problem, or you can choose to see it as a challenge: "How can I create a harmonious, understanding relationship with that person?" Instead of looking backward into the past ("How many times I've tried, and still it doesn't work"), you look forward to the future ("Let's see how I can make a difference").The heaviness of the situation is gone, and excitement takes over...Now, there are no more problems - only challenges!3. Recognize the problem as an OPPORTUNITY.In reality, every obstacle is a chance to learn something new and grow: "The obstacle is the path."Situation: Your boss just gave you two weeks notice. You're shocked, angry, worried, feeling insecure.You can see it as a problem ("What am I going to do now?" "Where will I earn money?" "I'm too old to change"), or you can see the possibilities open to you that were not there before: "Now I finally can take the around-the-world tour I always dreamed about", "Now it's time to open my own business", "Here's my chance to find a better job".Contemplate many of the opportunities you've had in your life; probably many opened up when you were in trouble...Now, there are no more problems - only opportunities!The key element in this problem-solving process is the conscious act of taking personal responsibility.Reshaping problems into facts, challenges and opportunities will allow you to accept that you are in charge of your "problem".You can no longer play the "blame game" because the problem is no longer something that was forced upon you from an outside source (other people, circumstances, etc...)You are no longer a powerless victim!If it's affecting your life, you must have something to do with it; therefore you can do something about it.Often, you don't even have to take action in the physical sense. Simply changing your point of view may be sufficient for the problem to disappear on its own.The closer you are to an issue, the harder it can be to be creative about it. So try taking a step back from your situation and invite others who are not close to it to brainstorm solutions with you.Ask yourself these questions:What are the facts?What are the challenges?What opportunities are presented?How will a solution make my life better than it was before?What is it that I have to learn in order to deal with the situation differently?Remember that NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE.When people tell me that something is impossible, I ask them, "How can you do it anyway?"That simple question has the power to transform lives.Imagine what would have happened if people like the Wright Brothers, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, J.F.K. and Gandhi used the word "impossible"? Where would humanity be today?We all tend to look at some problems as impossible to solve or beyond our power. "It's impossible to talk to my mother, she just won't listen!"But if you ask yourself instead, "How can I talk to her?" then, suddenly, ideas emerge (i.e. take her for a quiet lunch, include a third person in the conversation, write her a letter).Changing your language changes your outlook.Really, most "impossible" things are just "difficult" and can be achieved with some effort and a new "no problem" attitude."About The AuthorNisandeh Neta, author of the best-seller book Jump-Start Your Life: http://www.jump-start-your-life.com.When you are ready to live a life of purpose, passion, happiness, freedom, and success - download one of his free books at: http://www.inspiration2go.cominfo@inspiration2go.com
Keyword : inspiration,lion king,walt disney,fiction,self improvement,goals,life coach,hakuna matata

Thoughts Are Like Seeds - Are You Planting Flowers or Weeds?

Author : Vicki Miller
"You can't harvest what you don't sow. So plant your desires, gently nurture them and they will be rewarded with abundance. "
Vivian Elisabeth Glyck -12 Lessons on Life I Learned From My Garden.Thoughts Are Like Seeds - Are You Planting Flowers or Weeds?I especially love springtime. I enjoy walking around my neighborhood each day and marveling at all the colorful plants in bloom. I am rewarded each day with seeing blossoms that were not there the day before. Sometimes I see abandoned gardens where beautiful plants used to grow and now there are just weeds. It reminds me of life. If we do not tend our gardens (our lives), it doesn't mean that plants will not grow. What it does mean, however, is the wrong plants will grow.Every thought we have is a seed being planted. We can either plants seeds that grow into bountiful flowers or we can plant seeds that grow into weeds. We are all gardeners in our own lives. Only what grows in each individual garden varies dramatically. Think of your mind as your garden. What types of seeds are you planting? Are you growing weeds of judgment, self-condemnation, scarcity or disharmony? Or is your garden (mind) full of blossoms of peace, abundance, love and harmony? Look at the sample list below. See if you recognize what you are planting in your garden.Weeds:I'll never make enough money.Bad things always happen to me.I always get sick.I am too old (or young).I'm not good enough.I blame or resent others.I am too fat (skinny, short, tall, wrinkled).Flowers:My life is blessed with growing abundance.I am grateful for _________.My body is healthy and strong.I have a great life.I am a unique person with special gifts.I let go of the past & release all resentments.My body serves me well.Weeds pop up in each garden and it takes a diligent gardener to keep the weeds out. Certain plants (energizing thoughts) help smother out weeds. Over time, the more of these plants and seeds you sow, the less ground there is for the weeds to grow. Take a close look at your mental garden. Begin to pull out any limiting thoughts (weeds) and replace them with the opposite uplifting thoughts. Become your own diligent gardener starting now and continue until your garden is a showcase!Copyright April 2004 by Vicki MillerAs a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com
Keyword : self-esteem, abundance thinking, inspiration, changing thoughts, change thinking, abundance,

Big-Wave Mindfulness: Surfing For A Connection

Author : Maya Talisman Frost
Surfing is mindfulness in action. Riding the biggest waves is an all-out, fully-present-or-die-trying proposition.Thanks to a persistent case of aquaphobia, I've never tried surfing. However, I've done my share of snowboarding, and I am trying to imagine what it would be like to carve the slopes with several tons of avalanche chasing me down the mountain.First of all, I would have to hike to the top and wait to catch the biggest avalanche, getting pummeled by several in the process. Oh, and then try not to think too much about the abominable snowman poised to take a hunk out of my leg when I least expect it.Yeah. I'm stoked.I don't really "get" surfing, but I stand in awe of it. It's impossible to avoid acknowledging the strength, timing, grace and heart-blazing courage required just to catch those enormous waves, let alone ride them smoothly without wiping out.Whether or not you're into water, "Riding Giants" is a breathtaking film guaranteed to raise your pulse rate. Following the rise of big wave surfing from its ragtag roots in the fifties to the jet-ski boosted endorsement deals of today, "Riding Giants" offers a fascinating look at surf culture in all its guts and glory--not to mention its sun-bleached hair, wave-toned bodies, and plenty of pre-cancerous skin cells.Although several world-class surfers are profiled, the one I find most amazing is Jeff Clark, a 43-year-old native of Half Moon Bay, California who is credited with discovering Mavericks, a notoriously gnarly big wave mecca twenty miles south of San Francisco.Clark spotted the monstrous waves from the cliffs of Half Moon Bay as a teenager. One day, he decided to paddle the half-mile in chilly ocean water to check it out. Never mind that he was too far out for his worried friend--or anyone else--to save him. Forget that these waves would turn out to be so huge that, years later, seasoned pros from Waimea would find them jaw-dropping. Disregard the razor-sharp rocks waiting to chew up anyone unfortunate enough to be slammed to the shore.Clark had his first of many ride-of-your-life experiences that day. He couldn't believe the power of it, the magic, the unimaginable thrill.He went out to surf that incredible vortex every day. Alone. For fifteen years.I'm guessing that his parents were either a) clueless about where he was, or b) powerless to prevent him from returning. He couldn't find anyone insane enough to join him.He wasn't doing it for the attention, for the chicks, for the cameras, or for the money. He was out there getting pounded for the sake of that big ol' grin on his face and the unfathomable sense of connection to something larger than himself.Clark was like some modern day ascetic, putting himself through tortuous rites and death defying acts of faith while living in seclusion. He became one with the water on a daily basis through rigorous attention and exhaustive exploration.I am humbled. I envy him. And I can't stop thinking about how most of us will never have this all-consuming passion or such a magnificent opportunity to experience oneness with anything.Jeff Clark may be crazy. He may be obsessed. But he is a man whose mindfulness has inspired and elevated him--and saved his skin on numerous occasions.We should all be so lucky to discover such a wondrous wave.Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches fun and effective eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com
Keyword : mindfulness, surfing, extreme sports, fitness, wellness, meditation, snowboarding, peak

How to Pray on Water! Announcing Life-Changing Bible Code - Discover Amazing Water Scriptures!

Author : Dr. Joyce Starr
Water is the source of life, yet so few of us understand how to navigate its spiritual and inspirational powers.In 2001, I spent the summer in Israel launching a special project for the protection of the water-starved Sea of Galilee. Fortunately, I found a short-term apartment with a panoramic, awe-inspiring view of the Sea.Seascape apartments in the Holy Land are highly coveted and thus in precious supply.Friends commented that my good fortune was beyond belief. But I felt that the sea was drawing me near, indeed that I could rely upon these mystical waters to provide direction.The miracle was mine for the asking.My laptop fit comfortably in an alcove with windows shuttered against the hot, penetrating Middle Eastern sun.Yet, I found myself drawn instead to the expansive living room water vista, where my heart could endlessly inhale the wondrous, shimmering greeting of diamond tipped waves.Graceful sailboats ballet sailed by from time to time. Motorboats would occasionally capture my attention. I remained vigilant for water visitors even in the black of night.The sea and I graciously welcomed all guests.For we were intertwined in this special time and place, cherished partners--beholder, beheld and beloved--embracing and celebrating God's powerful blessings in our perfect, peaceful setting.Slowly, inescapably, I discovered that I was…Praying on Water!It was a joyous experience that I wanted to share.I also discovered through my research that there are over 200 water references in the Old Testament and over 100 in the New Testament.Miracles and milestones linked to water -- the parting of the Red Sea, the passage of the Israelites across the turbulent River Jordan into the Promised Land, baptism and rebirth, Jesus' miraculous walk on the waters of the Sea of Galilee -- shaped our Judeo-Christian heritage.As the Biblical drama opens on creation, we learn that the entire world is divided into upper and lower waters. Waters above signify trust in God, while waters below signify trust in one another.I've written numerous works and held many conferences over the years on the politics of water sharing--especially in the Middle East Region.Yet, I finally understood that it is much more important--and yes, even urgent--to help people undertand and appreciate the Power of Water Prayers to forge a closer connection to God...the True Source!How to Pray On Water reveals the most profound prayer messages ever written: Water Scriptures!!YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN THINK OF THE BIBLE OR WATER in quite the same way. You can learn more about How to Pray on Water at http://www.prayonwater.com.Dr. Joyce Starr--a noted international expert on water issues--authored Covenant Over Middle Eastern Waters (Henry Holt), Faxes To God (HarperSanFrancisco), Kissing Through Glass (Contemporary Books), and How Children Pray to God at the Western Wall of Jerusalem (http://www.starrcraft.com) and many other works. You can find her recently published Ebook, How to Pray on Water, at http://www.prayonwater.com.You can also visit Dr. Starr's Life Coaching website at:
http://www.virtualexpretizer.com.Dr. Starr can be reached at expert-info@usa.net.© Joyce Starr - All Rights Reserved** Attn Ezine editors / Site owners **
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Keyword : prayers, prayers how to, sea of galilee, prayer learn, Israel, Israel water, jesus, inspiration

Pay It Forward

Author : Leslie Fieger
My friend Hugh Jeffries died. He was a wealthy man. His wealth was of the kind that you can take with you when you go. I do not know what his tangible estate measures. That is unimportant now. This I do know…his contributions to the lives of others were the true measure of his success and wealth.He was a wise and compassionate man. He offered, in every conversation I had with him, words of encouragement and kindness. When I expressed frustration or anger, he counseled forgiveness and understanding. When I ranted about the mediocrity of people's lives, he reminded me that every human soul is great and we cannot know the value of another's daily contribution by their anonymity.Hugh worked with many of the great and famous personal development teachers. He believed in me and supported my work. I took that as high praise. It was only after my ego got out of the way that I realized that Hugh believed in and supported everyone he encountered.I think it is important to note that Hugh knew that every word and deed is a causal agent that produces effects. He lived his life accordingly. He believed that everyone has something valuable to contribute and everyone has the potential for greatness.Each word spoken and deed enacted by Hugh is a measure of his greatness.We may not be ever be able to know exactly what kind word saved a person's life or what supportive gesture contributed to someone's happiness and success.Hugh often said that each of us could make difference in the world. It wasn't just a philosophical statement. He set about to do that; and, he succeeded.Hugh made a extraordinary difference in thousands of lives, who in turn will make a difference in the lives of countless others. His loss is deeply felt by all who knew him; but more importantly, his gift of himself to each of us will live on as we learn to live by his example.Now that is a legacy, an estate to leave behind. Hugh died a wealthy man indeed.I mourn his death. I celebrate his life.I will always remember his smile. It was in his eyes. It overflowed out of his heart."That Man is a Success
Who has lived well,
laughed often and loved much;
Who has gained the respect of intelligent men
and the love of children;
Who has filled his niche
and accomplished his task;
Who leaves the world better than he found it,
whether by improved poppy, a perfect poem,
or a rescued soul;
Who never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty
or failed to express it.
Who looked for the best in others
and gave the best he had."
—R.L. Stevenson"We have never come at the true and best benefit of any genius so long as we believe him an original force. In the moment when he ceases to help us as a cause, he begins to help us more as an effect. Then he appears as an exponent of a vaster mind and will. The opaque self becomes transparent with the light of the First Cause."
—R.W. Emerson© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or

http://www.LeslieFieger.com.Reprinting and republishing of this article is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.
Keyword : contribution,

Emancipation

Author : Wayne Mitchell
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003When is it time to divorce a family member?I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his brother who controls the purse strings. My partner and I are both artists, juggling multiple careers to realize our life work and get the bills paid. Our income is limited.My partner's brother is a self-made multimillionaire with multiple homes and his own private jet. We give what we can in terms of love, support, and managing round-the-clock care. The brother attempts to make us feel guilty by saying it is normal for all siblings to contribute financially and why aren't we.I found this man disgusting, repulsive, and nauseating when I first met him 12 years ago, and I feel exactly the same way now. I have always pretended to have a good time and to love him, which adds my dishonesty to the picture.The brother is about to limit how much money he contributes for his father's care. He will loan his father the rest. Once the equity is drained from the home and his father becomes indigent, the brother will provide the resources to take care of him.My partner is at peace that inheritance isn't part of his future, but my life is thrown entirely off balance and I end up with many sleepless nights. What bothers me is the distortion of reality. I communicate with my partner's brother in writing, but he consistently misrepresents what I've written to him.When I resend the information again and again, he claims it never happened or continues to misrepresent what I said. I showed the correspondence to a neutral third party, and she confirmed my perceptions.This man does not appear to be conscious of his distortions and really believes his lies are true. We've tried telephone communication, but it is simply too traumatizing for both my partner and me to talk with him on the phone.My counselor of many years has advised terminating the relationship, and my partner is also considering this. What do you think?MarcMarc, the first time you meet an individual who tells you up is down, right is left, and good is bad, it stuns you. You question your own judgment. But there are some people who will look you straight in the eye and lie.Because you operate from a basis of honesty and integrity, you are dumbfounded that there is not some appeal to goodness or some line of reasoning which will get through to your partner's brother. But there isn't.Believe the evidence of your own eyes. This man operates from the principle that he always gets to have his own way. You don't need to understand why he is that way. You need only accept how he is.Your father-in-law is going to be taken care of financially, and that is a wonderful thing. You asked when it is time to divorce a family member. The answer in your case is it was time about 11 years ago.Wayne & TamaraInnocence LostI caught my husband cheating over a year and a half ago. We have worked things out meanwhile and even bought our first home. What is eating me up every day is always wondering if he will ever do this again.I asked him today if there was someone else, and indirectly he never answered my question. I feel so lost and insecure. What should I do to get past this?DonnaDonna, the difficulty with staying with a cheater is you have to believe they won't do again what they were not supposed to do in the first place. The first time your husband cheated he took away your ability to believe he is faithful.We can't tell you how to get past this. With this man you can only look out for your own best interests.WayneAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,self improvement,time management,stress relief,happiness,positivity

The Karate Kid

Author : Wayne Mitchell
I have an unexpected relationship problem. It's hard to believe it has become such an issue but it has. The whole thing started very innocently when my boyfriend and I were watching some silly action movie. The female heroine was kicking butt, and I mentioned to my boyfriend I took a semester's worth of judo classes in college and could probably give him a run for his money.I was half joking. I didn't really think I could beat him. He has a pretty significant weight advantage over me and is an athletic guy. I'm not exactly a big amazon type of girl. I'm tall and slender. I jog regularly and work out a couple of times a week, but that's it really.Anyway, we got going, and to my surprise I was able to fend off his initial attempts to take me down. Then I caught him off guard with a basic leg sweep and used other techniques to keep him on the floor and eventually pin him. I thought it was fun and funny, and so did he at first. We've had several "bouts" since, and I've beaten him every time.Yes, I understand male egos are fragile when it comes to these things, but I'm getting really sick of his petulant attitude every time he loses. He seems to think it's impossible I can beat him, and he's a real pill to be around when it happens. What am I supposed to do--let him win? I'm proud I've retained judo skills, rudimentary as they are, and I don't see why I should compromise just because I'm a woman.JodiJodi, your boyfriend is not learning the lesson here. He is the athlete, but he is untrained. You are trained, and you understand how to turn your opponent's strength to your advantage. If anything, the skill of self-defense is more valuable to a female because a woman knows at any time she may have to defend herself against a man.The Chinese sage Lieh Tzu told a story about a man who lost an ax. The man thought his neighbor's son took it, and in every word or deed of the boy, the man saw the actions of a thief. Then one day the man found his ax, and he no longer saw the neighbor's son as a thief.Your boyfriend is stuck thinking you have stolen the ax, his manhood. Actually nothing has changed since the time you first watched the movie together. Personal security expert Gavin de Becker once summed up this whole situation by saying, "At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them."It is time for you to retire from the mat as an undefeated champion. The purse, his frail ego, isn't worth fighting for. He has a problem to deal with, and it is his problem alone.Wayne & TamaraChild's PlayMy problem is a love problem, as most problems are. I've been in love with this girl for a year now, and I need to know how to make her mine. We are good friends and she finds me funny, I think. So maybe that could help me. I'm not much to look at, and she is. I've thought many a time to just go for it and kiss her.RoryRory, I tried that with the girl across the street when I was four. It didn't work, and I wouldn't recommend it past the age of four. Since you are good friends, you can tell her how you feel. If she's interested, she'll let you know.A song by Bonnie Raitt says, "I can't make you love me if you don't, you can't make your heart feel something it won't." That pretty much sums it up. Tell her what you feel, then accept her answer.WayneDirect Answers - Column for the week of March 1, 2004About The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation

Reclaiming Our Resilient Spirit

Author : Eileen McDargh
Our spirits are taking a beating. The daily barrage of bad news, violence, shrinking resources, global warming, and economic slowdown can put us in a state of frustration and paralysis. Some days, getting out of bed can be a challenge.Within the word "resilience" are actions we can take to reclaim our bounce-back ability.R: Remember to breathe. The ability to calm down is critical in order to take stock and move forward.E: Enlist support of others. Love people and be lovable in return. A supportive family (whether genetic or hand-picked) is what keeps people alive. The English word wretched comes from the Middle English word wrecche which means "without kin nearby."S: Stay focused. Intentionality lays the groundwork for what we want in our life. See it, say it and claim it. Don't let external forces cloud your vision.I: Identify your strengths. Energy and good health are two of the most essential ingredients in resiliency. Work on your physical well being first because it is the quickest way to gain control over a world that is uncontrollable.L: Laugh out loud. You'll be amazed at the looks you get. And you'll feel better.I: Insist on optimism. Positive mental health comes from the ability to reframe a situation. This is not the Pollyanna or head-in-sand avoidance of reality but rather a recall of ways in which you have handled similar situations.E: Extend yourself to others. Self-absorption backfires. It only serves to deepen depression and worry. Going out to serve others lifts the cloud around yourself and allows you to become both blessed and a blessing.N: Never say "never". The resilient spirit knows that there is always tomorrow.T: Thanks-give it! There is much to be grateful for.(c) 2002 by Eileen McDargh. All rights reserved.About The AuthorEileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE, is an international speaker, author and seminar leader. Her book 'The Resilient Spirit' is the companion piece to her talks on resiliency and spirit. For more information on Eileen and her presentations, please call 949-496-8640 or visit http://www.TheResilientSpirit.com
Keyword : spiritual,self improvement,inspiration,religion,christ,lord,bible,prayer,faith,belief

False Prophets

Author : Wayne Mitchell
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 12, 2003Of all the relationship advice columns, I like and respect yours most because you never encourage using manipulation or "tricks" in relationships.I recently turned 30 and am considered an attractive woman. My life has never been easy, but I put it all behind me and tried to make the best out of my assets. I moved to the States, put myself through college, graduated with honors, and work hard to support myself.The only problem is I have no love in my life. The men I date act like I am the best thing to happen to them, in the beginning that is. Inevitably it turns out they do not want a serious relationship, leaving me with a broken heart and crushed hopes. If I am really that wonderful, why is this happening to me?I have dated men of various ages, professions, and physical appearance. The only thing they have in common is a dread of settling down with one person forever.I live in New York, perhaps the most "commitment phobic" city in the world. Whenever I travel to other states, people say, "You're such a beautiful girl. Not married yet?" It's flattering, but I cringe to hear that question. It makes me feel like the biggest loser.I've tried almost everything. Recently I read in one of the relationship books the best way to attract the right partner is make a list of all the qualities we would like them to possess and meditate upon it. Inevitably the right mate will be drawn to us. Call me skeptical, but this sounds like ordering custom furniture, not meeting a mate.Can such lists really work? Please help me. I am too young to live without love the rest of my life.EldoraEldora, oh, if it was only that simple. Make a list of what you want--a man, money, or a trim waist--and meditate. If that worked, we'd all be married, we'd all be rich, and we'd all be thin. If that book worked, it would be the hottest selling book ever.Authors of relationship books say you can plan and plot this out because that is what people want to hear. But it is not within their power to make happen. No one has a crystal ball to tell you when the great moments of your life will occur. Love comes when it comes, not when you decide it should come.Love is a word which is often misused. It can be used to gain undeserved intimacy. There is something to be said for waiting, because those who are not serious are not likely to be patient. As you have already painfully discovered, you cannot turn a man who is not serious into one who is no matter how much he says he likes or loves you.It doesn't take long to realize a shoe doesn't fit, and almost all men give indicators they are, or are not, of a mindset for a wife. The sooner you learn a man is not of your mindset, the less likely you are to be hurt. If a man says he isn't looking for marriage, shake his hand, say goodnight, and tell him he is not what you are looking for.The one thing we can tell you is to live the kind of life which is in you, that you deserve, that you have a passion for. Because that is the only thing which is under your control.Put yourself in the way of love and marriage. That means not being involved with anyone who does not want marriage, acknowledging in your heart you want to be married, and not being afraid to say it. The man who truly loves you will want to make you his own.The best thing you can do is be out there living a good life.Wayne & TamaraAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation

The Power of Courtesy and Kindness

Author : Bill Marshall
I'm currently listening to The Secrets of the Power of Intention audio program by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I highly recommend the program. In the program, he speaks a lot about the importance of kindness. When you consistently have thoughts of kindness, you have a clear connection to the way things work well in the world. Good things start to happen to you automatically. Even the chemistry of your body changes to create emotions that make you feel good (endorphins). You begin to attract allies who will go out of their way to help you without being asked.Here's a question: what if more and more people were "guilty" of random acts of kindness? Just simply being courteous and kind for no good reason--not to get anything out of the situation (or person). Just being kind for kindness' sake? How would the world change?Here is an affirmation that will help condition your mind to stay in a state of kindness: "I am now courteous and kind to everyone I meet."What if just seeing another person, any person automatically triggered this thought? How would your actions change toward them? How much broader would you smile? How would it guide your conversation? Would it focus on you or on them? How would this change your driving habits? This is a GREAT affirmation and if you use it often enough, you will create thought habits of courtesy and kindness.As that happens, over time, many wonderful things will happen to you and those around you. And if enough people start to think this way, the whole world will change. Did I happen to say that I am an optimist? Here is an interesting point. I read some place about a study that was done about what men and women look for most in a prospective marriage partner. The number one quality that men looked for was looks. The number one quality women looked for was security. No real news there (maybe that's why we have so many divorces and unhappy marriages).But the number two quality desired by BOTH men and women was KINDNESS. I would say that deep down, this is probably the number one quality we all want. Looks always fade with age. "Security" based on material things is often elusive (regardless of income). KINDNESS IS ETERNAL. It is a state of mind--a positive state of mind. So, if you want to meet other people's deepest need (as well as your own), condition your mind to think only thoughts of courtesy and kindness to yourself and to other people.Copyright (c) 2005 Bill Marshall - All rights reserved. Feel free to republish this article provided you include the copyright information and the weblinks where possible.For practical self-improvement tips, visit http://www.poweraffirmations.com. Get my new free e-book, "Power Affirmations: Power Positive Conditioning for Your Subconscious Mind"
Keyword : article submission, articles, writers, writing, publishing, ezine, email marketing, email newsletter, email

Don't Ask Your Doctor

Author : Maya Talisman Frost
Perhaps I should ask my doctor if there is a drug to take to combat frustration from seeing so many drug ads. You know the ones I'm talking about. They always start out with a list of questions. Then they tell you that a new drug might be just the thing for you--all you have to do is ask your doctor.Here's my tongue-in-cheek riff on those ubiquitous ads.*************************Have you ever felt you had too little time for your many interests?Do you find it difficult to decide which section of the bookstore to browse?Is it hard for you to answer the question, "What do you do?"?You may be suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder.There is help for those suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder. New ideas make it possible to live a meaningful life despite the inability to hold the same job for 25 years.There are support groups for those suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder. You can find them at most community colleges, libraries, artist cooperatives, bookstores, and coffee shops near you. It's important for you to know that, wherever you are, there are other individuals coping with their limitless approach to life.In addition, you should know that many successful individuals have suffered just as you are now. Leonardo da Vinci found it impossible to choose between science and art. Albert Einstein was unable to find satisfaction as a student. Orville and Wilbur Wright were incapable of sticking to running their bicycle shop.If you're suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder, you may have several of the following symptoms:Multiple talentsA well-used library cardAn affinity for public broadcastingAn eclectic collection of recorded musicAn inability to stick with one careerA tendency to prefer conversation over televisionA penchant for viewing independent filmsA habit of attending lectures or author eventsA collection of art supplies, sports gear, books, antiques, exotic plants, cooking utensils, or any combination of theseDon't ask your doctor if a limited life is right for you. Your lack of mindlessness may have become apparent to yourself or others. It may be too late to avoid recognizing your potential and engaging in your own process of maximizing your intellect, talent, and compassion.Millions of people around the world are suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder. They are incapable of sticking to predictable options. They are choosing to wallow in their opportunities for excellence and fulfillment.If you think you may be suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder, ask yourself if a life of limitations is right for you. Pursuing a long-term course of multiple passions may result in fascinating conversations, stimulating relationships, and an extra long obituary. Those pursuing a path of many twists and turns may develop excessive curiosity and energy.SIDE EFFECTS: Those engaging in a life of limitless opportunities may experience spontaneous woos--contagious and energizing expressions of irrepressible joy. To avoid mindlessness, refrain from mediocrity and repetitive thought patterns. In the event of unrestrained enthusiasm and discovery, deep and lasting satisfaction may be the only prognosis. Don't ask your doctor for more information.About The AuthorMaya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 90 countries. She serves up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief in her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.maya@massageyourmind.com
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation,innovation,positive thinking

Clearing Your Inner Landscape: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Deadwood

Author : Jodie Foster
Do you suffer from emotional clutter? Is suffering even the
right word? Maybe it is, maybe a better description is 'living
with' emotional clutter. Emotional clutter is like an addiction.You carry your emotional baggage around thinking you can easily
handle it, especially if you treat it like it doesn't exist.
Eventually it reaches a point when you feel it's out of control,
or even worse, you are out of control.Learning how to 'let go' is the cornerstone of cleaning emotional
clutter. It can be one of the most empowering experiences of
your life. As you let go, you free up space to expand, unleashing
the reasons why you hold onto your feelings.Emotional clutter is a form of interference. When a river is
blocked with trees, logs, bushes, etc. the water doesn't flow
easily. The river begins to stagnate. So many people ask me why
their lives are so difficult, why they always feel stuck. My
answer is based on this same principle of the river being
cluttered with debris.Our emotional debris is like deadwood in the river. The more you
remove and eliminate the deadwood, the better the flow. Generally
we hold onto emotional clutter because there is fear, and often
shame as well. When we finally make the decision to clear the
deadwood, or debris, it means facing the fear and doing it
anyway.If your inner landscape is cluttered, your outer landscape may
reflect that. Often people with emotional baggage collect
material baggage in the form of clutter in their homes. Clearing
the external clutter is marvelous, but unless you also clear the
emotional clutter, you may be destined to repeat the cluttered
house over and over again.You may think that hanging onto things keeps you secure, so you
don't feel loss and scarcity. In fact, that is far from the
truth. We hold onto things because we already feel loss and
scarcity. It only amplifies the feelings.One of the first rules of manifesting abundance is to pay
yourself first and to tithe 10%. Give it away, even if you feel
you don't have enough. This is the act of trust. It shows faith
in the knowledge that abundance will come back to you ten fold
and there is abundance for everyone.Holding onto clutter and emotional baggage may be the way you
feel worth, or self confidence. It may be a false sense of
strength and security. Remember, these are the times when you
alone are holding the deadwood in place to block the river.Many people are afraid to cry. They fear that if they simply let
go then they will be washed away in an uncontrollable flood of
tears. The truth is, once the dam is clear, there is an initial
surge of water, eventually slowing to a steady flow.It is the holding that causes so much pain. As you hold onto
feelings, refusing to acknowledge them, you put yourself in a
very tedious juggling act. You have assumed the role of guard,
caretaker, juggler and strongman, not to mention judge and
critic. There is plenty of fodder for the judge/critic to use to
berate you and deem you unworthy.Now all this could have been easily avoided, had you simply felt
the feelings at the time of the incident. Sadly, the times we
are really good at that are when we are very young. Something
hurts = we cry, we're angry = we yell, stamp our feet, etc. I
say this is sad because it is our ever-so enlightened society
that has taught our parents to stop that process.How many times have I heard in the grocery store a youngster
being told not to cry, stop being upset, don't be angry, etc.
This is when we learned to hold the feelings. This is when the
dam began. Yes, we can thank our parents, but they were only
doing their best with the same thing that happened to them when
they were little. It is a societal pattern and it is rampant.Learning how to let go is relatively easy once you know the
steps:1. Awareness
2. Intention
3. Choice
4. ActionThese simple steps are used consistently in the process of
releasing emotional clutter. Knowing how to use the tools is
easy, it's actually the sorting needed to create the awareness
that can be the most challenging part.Sorting is the precursor to transformation and change. It is
opening the door so that you actually have the awareness. This
step can require assistance. It's difficult to do when you are
standing in it.It's like the TV series 'Clean Sweep' on TLC. Organizing
professionals come into your home and help you sort your physical
clutter. You can then have awareness, see your intention to
change the situation, choose what you keep and what you
eliminate, then take action by throwing things away or having a
yard sale. The end result is usually two newly cleared,
clutter-free and renovated rooms. You can see some emotional
awareness happening, but remember, it took years of inner
emotional cluttering to develop into these seriously cluttered
homes.The emotional changes do not happen overnight. There is a
beginning sort and the first shades of awareness. Will the
owners of the home return to their emotional habit of clutter?
They may because their inner landscape was not cleared.
Generally this inner clearing works differently. The inner
clearing happens, and then the external cleaning happens as a
result. The lasting effects are there because the people
actually released the emotional deadwood creating the clutter in
their homes.It's simple, when we feel cluttered inside, we create clutter
outside. One exception to this rule are the obsessive 'neat
freaks.' They obsessively clean externally attempting to create
inner order because they are so emotionally cluttered and may not
know how to deal with the emotional deadwood. Either way, it is
an act of control. We control our outer circumstances if we feel
completely out of control on the inside. Or, we are so
controlled on the inside, holding back the emotion that we are
totally out of control on the outside. Which are you?Of course, there is a third option, which we can all aspire to-
the balanced person, centered, at peace within and living a
clutter-free life. In fact, balanced people may be detached from
material things. They have created an open space for flow. We
can look at these folks with awe and amazement because they
experience peace within. No longer is life about control and
chaos, a battle between the inner and outer emotional life. It
is now about peace and balance.Which lifestyle would you prefer?© 2004 Jodie FosterJodie Foster is an Intuitive Counselor who assists clients to create extraordinary transformations in their everyday lives. Her work is uplifting, empowering and success-oriented. You can visit Jodie's website at http://www.illuminationsnetwork.com for further information and to schedule a private intuitive session. You can also look for weekly updates to her blog at: http://intuitiveinnovations.blogspot.com.Publisher's Guidelines: You may freely publish this article online, in email newsletters, or in print so long as the resource box and byline are in tact. Author would appreciate a notification, but that is optional.
Keyword : organization, clutter, emotional clutter, emotional clearing, emotion, letting go, flow, control

Comfort and Achievement

Author : John Giagkiozis
I'll share with you one of my deepest insights about achievement comfort and the desire to control even the slightest bump in the great ride we have come to call Life.When someone asks me a question I try to avoid giving them a straight answer because I believe an answer can only complicate things, I find that the best way to help them is to pose a better question. You see an answer has a certain finality whereas a question can open new possibilities. I find that people need something certain and finite to grab onto, some believe that this can define their inner being provide happiness and wellbeing for the rest of their life. A great example is science, science is a way of giving answers right? WRONG, no scientist in the world has found an answer, but the greatest scientists have found great questions! Questions that gave us a better understanding about the world around us. Can you remember when you where young and the world seemed so exciting, how every color and every smell had an identity of its own? You didn't know that "red" was red but it certainly made you feel in a way that no one else could or can possibly understand.We all evolved to the person we are today due to our keen sense of curiosity. I don't know about you but every time I asked the same question to different people I got a different answer, the people that gave me the answers didn't evolve nearly as I did, my guess is that this same thing happened to you too.As we grow older and older we rarely make any questions and subsequently our evolution rate declines. We become self absorbed and goal oriented, we feed our pompous ego with "achievements" that don't feel quite right but we do them anyway because they make us seem important and give us comfort and ease. With that stated, I'm not surprised that I rarely see a truly happy man. We have made happiness into achievement, which is tragic. You can't achieve something that you have always had but you have been trained systematically not to see.You reach to the top and you realize that it isn't the status that matters but what brought you there, are you proud about the things you did to get there, did you enjoy the ride? I'm not talking about ethics but about essence, it is really sad to realize you have wasted your life to achieve something that you never longed for just to gain approval or comfort or status or wealth. Everything is right if done for the right reasons but something "right" can be wrong if done for the wrong reasons.Now I have a question to you, which path is the one that will give you fulfillment satisfaction, will help you evolve and when you look back in time will make you feel proud and good about yourself?***This article is dedicated to Ioanna a wonderful and charismatic woman that is on the verge of quit asking questions! ***
Keyword : no, key, words

Your Self-Image - How Is It Working for You?

Author : Gerri D Smith
"All that you desire or require is already on your pathway, but you must be wide awake to your good to bring it into manifestation." - Florence Scovel ShinnWhether you are a professional secretary, a nurse, a vice-president in a large corporate organization; a creative arts director, or an attorney, as a total individual, you must always strive for self- improvement. Your personal image is what sets you apart from all others. Your image speaks for itself and has a lot to do with the way others see you.Imagine how you feel when you …..> Treat others with respect. Extend courtesy. Show consideration. Be kind. Know yourself and how you'd feel if you were in the same situation and required assistance from someone else. Whenever you feel tempted to criticize another person-- today, tomorrow, or next week-- realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons, they always come back to peck you.> Take charge of your life. Knowing what you want to achieve, and setting out to fulfill even a minor goal leads you down the right road to a life filled with successes. Having the courage to go for your goals requires you to act from a position of strength.And in order to achieve your desired result, your goal must be
worthy. Do not become discouraged when a specific goal isn't
successful. It takes lots of practice to get it right. The
important point is that you acted.> Work smarter, not harder; be more efficient, not faster, and
always strive to be better, and avoid carelessness. Do not dwell on past mistakes. Be aware of what you did incorrectly and learn from it. Then avoid repeating the same mistake the next time.Try not to blame others for your faults. No one else is
responsible for your actions--not what you feel, not what you
do, or what you say, or how you react in any situation. Take
each new day as it is given to you. Learn to create a pleasant
experience for yourself and for others.> Accept and initiate change. If something isn't working, find a
better way to complete the task--don't give up. Doing tasks the
same old way may work for a time, but if there's a way it can be
done more efficiently, try a different method. And a more effective way may be discovered. After all, there is no right way and no wrong way to do a task….it may just be whatever feels right to you.Respect for yourself and others. In building your self-image, courtesy, taking charge of your life, and working smarter are all good habits to develop. Your life may improve when you practice these habits daily. Then find others to add to the list. You'll be amazed at how good it makes you feel.Copyright, 2005Author, Publisher, and Writer Gerri D Smith dares you to be inspired. Now is the perfect time to invest in your future. Subscribe to DBW's Free inspirational newsletter for women business owners, home-based business individuals, and entrepreneurs. Through articles, special reports, business opportunities, suport, offers, and resources, you are inspired to succeed. Get the tools to empower your life. Visit: http://www.distinctivebusinesswomen.com
Keyword : self-image, courage, self-improvement, respect, courtesy, empower, change, womenbusinessowners

Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 1

Author : Vaughn Pascal
I want to share some things with you that I usually don't share with many people. To be honest not many people do know the whole story and that is because I don't really trust many people with this. Anyways here goes..When I was a little girl I lived with my mom and dad and two half sisters and a brother. My sisters are older than me and my brother is younger so I fall in the middle. My sisters are my dad's kids with his first wife and me and my brother are a result of my mom and dad's marriage. We had a great family. We always did the family things together, weekend trips , sometimes longer vacations, game nights and so forth and so on. I also got to spend a lot of time with my grandparents on my mom's side of the family. My mom worked a lot, and I really don't have a lot of memories with my mom back then. I did spend a lot of time with my dad though. I wasn't in school yet so he would take me to work with him when I wasn't at my grandparent's, or we would hang out at the house or go for rides just whatever to occupy time. We were very close and I was very much a daddy's girl.At some point in time my dad lost his job and I remember my mom and dad began to argue a lot, not really in front of us though. They would go in their room, close the door, and I guess they thought we couldn't hear but we always did. It never got violent or anything but once in a while it would get over heated and my mom would pack us up and take us out to my grandparent's house for the night. We always came back the next day and everything seemed fine from that point on for a while anyways. We ended up having to move from the trailer we were living in and we moved to a smaller apartment in town. My dad began to drink heavily and I do mean heavily. One week my sister went to florida to Disney Land with some friends of hers, the night she came back, that night I remember waking up to her screaming. I was probably around three years old at the time. I had no idea what was wrong and I was scared but I didn't move I just laid in my bed and pulled the covers higher over my head and tried my best to go back to sleep. The next night I slept with her and I believe every night there after that we lived in that apartment. So from a very young age, I became her protector, of what I had no clue but I knew she needed me and I was going to be there. I became the protector of my whole family or at the very least hers. I really didn't even know why though, but of course now that I'm older I do.Not very long after that we moved again but this time we moved to my grandparent's farm and I was thrilled. My grandpa had a huge cattle farm, well maybe not huge but when your little everything seem so much bigger. He owned three houses on that property and he let my mom and dad have one. My dad was very unhappy. I saw this then and I was little. He started to drink even more and I began to be afraid of him. My mom and dad believed in strict punishment and we were good kids because of that. It wasn't rare for us to be whipped with a belt or a switch. I remember one time my sisters and I had got in trouble for something and he beat our legs till they bled and when he was done he put methiolade on them and we squalled from the burning of it even more so then the whipping. We learned at a very young age to not talk back and we didn't. I also remember a time when I was very young also when my mom and dad left me in the car because I was asleep I woke up to find myself alone and I started to run across the street. I was hit by a car and luckily I wasn't hurt though, my dad broke a belt on me that night because I had scared him so bad and he whipped me until I pissed my pants when I did that he whipped me harder. Counting was a big thing with my dad when we got whipped we had to count the swats, probably how I learned to count, if we missed time or didn't count he would start over, and that was punishment as they saw it. This was all before I even started school. You learned to mind back then or else. And you didn't want to know what else it would be. Those are my memories no one told me these things. I remember all of it, coming from my own memory. He didn't believe in waste either, one time he made supper and the meat was very spicy and I didn't want to eat it, he made me anyways and when I threw up he whipped me, and I think I had to eat it anyways. My grandparent's would come over and visit and since they only lived across the road, they would sometimes sneak me into their car and take me home with them, every time I came home I got whipped but I continued to do it because that is where I felt safe.This wasn't always a constant thing, we still had very good times when they were good they were very good but the bad times slowly increased. Then the stuff with my sister started again. I remember waking up to her crying at least once a week, maybe more. At this time we all slept in the same room upstairs but in different beds. My brother stayed down stairs with my mom and dad though in a separate room. Close to on of the last nights there. I remember waking up to her screaming and crying, I remember her exact words, she said," Dad, I swear I will kill myself". I got up out of my bed and ran to my other sister's bed and I started shaking her telling her to wake up and she finally did I started screaming for my mom and she started screaming too. I heard someone run down the stairs. My oldest sister got us all up and, got us dressed and took us to my grandparents' house. There were times in between all these times that when my sisters left for school I got scared so I would go downstairs and crawl in bed with my dad, because I was afraid, of what I didn't know. I knew it had something to do with Dad but I wasn't sure what. I had no idea he was molesting my sister, how could I. I was a baby myself. My mom finally confronted him that night or shortly after. Remember a three year old child is telling this story my words and thoughts/memories but the time frame might be a little off. The night my mom confronted him I remember waking up to them screaming at each other, hearing glass break and then I heard my dad call my sister downstairs. Shortly after she went down my mom and sister began screaming and yelling. I guess my dad pulled a gun and held it up to her and told her to get out. He left and he told her to be gone when he got home. I heard him outside cussing at my grandparents who lived across a holler I never ever heard my dad so angry ever. I was terrified. My mom came in and grabbed us, right after he left and grabbed clothes and we headed for my grandparent's house. Half way there, he came back and he got a spotlight and started looking for us. My mom laid on top of me and my brother when he began to shoot and when he finally stopped shooting, we ran as fast as we could to my grandparents who were waiting outside the door, my uncle barred the door and they called the police, the police came and they found my dad in a field still holding the gun. My grandma put us to bed. I never saw my dad much after that. On occasion he would come around but we were so scared we wouldn't even go near him. My mom got a divorce.We lived with my grandparents after that and I was the happiest kid in the world I don't remember to much about starting school, other than the fact that I cried every single day and I threw up every single day that I had to go. My grandpa and I were very close. I loved living on the farm. We had tons of animals and I felt like I was in Heaven. I was happy then. Before I started school animals were my only friends and I had many. I was the oldest besides my sisters and I spent a lot of time with those critters. They did stay with my mom after that even though my sisters weren't her real kids but they did stay. They were not treated very nice though by some of my family members but that is there story and I will allow them that. My youngest sister moved back in with my dad some years later and then ended up in a foster home. My oldest one stayed with us though. I had to sleep with someone every night after all that and even pissed the bed for years after that. Doctor said it was psychological, kidding right? Ya think? I did out grow it eventually and life carried on. My grandparents were very religious and had a lot of morals and they instilled that on us the best they could. I don't remember many times with my mom back then because she worked so much. I was happy though and I felt free.Years later as I grew older my animals became the most important thing to me. I had an uncle who was living with my grandparents at the time and he must have been jealous of the attention we got, because we did get babied by my grandparents a lot. He really didn't like my sister and made it a point to pick her out to humiliate, but again that is her story. He loved to pick at us and eventually it came around to me. How do you think he got to me? With my animals. He loved to kill and torture my animals. He was very abusive to me in this way. If I made him mad or even if he just had a bad day he would come home, take me outside and go get a big box. He would say, "pick which ones you want to keep". My grandma would try to stop him but he would get more angry, and he would say, "pick, pick which ones". It was always puppies and kittens. I was just a kid. I don't even know how old I was. I would stand there and I had to pick which ones lived and which ones died, if I tried to change my mind and try to take one out, he would yell more. When he had the box full he would take it out in the field and shoot it full of holes, or he would toss them in the air and kill them that way, and he would come home bragging of it. He beat one of my collie pups to death and I was on vacation at the time, I saw the blood in the road. I started to hate vacation time because I knew when I came back some of them would be gone and dead. Every time we went, I came home to that. I hated him and honestly this was the worst type of abuse I have felt, simply because he made me choose life or death for something I cherished more than anything. Around that time I started school again and I was being picked on a lot because I was so skinny. I was also extremely shy, I wouldn't talk to anyone. I started hating school too.To be continued ... 1st of six......Vaughn Pascal
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Flaming Fire Within Our Bones

Author : Saundra L. Washington
Jeremiah was certainly one of the most distinguished notables of the Old Testament. To read his messages and experiences is to become acquainted with a great servant of God. I believe he revealed more of his inner feelings and personal reactions toward God and man, than did any other prophet or prophetess in Old Testament times. He was a young man of approximately 21 years of age when he accepted his divine calling to minister to the nations.But Jeremiah lived in very bad times, times not too unlike our own. On the political front there was a great power struggle going on between the super structures. Assyria had occupied the leadership for some three centuries but now, she was weakening. Babylon was ascending in power and Egypt too, was striving for the position of world master.Socially and religiously, conditions were rapidly declining. God's chosen nation had forsaken Him. They ignored the instructions as given to them by Moses and had turned instead to idolatry and harlotry. They abused the temple and yet, they mistakenly assumed that God's presence was still with them. But at some moment in that strange transformative time of history, Jeremiah (and others) had heard God's call and responded.For Jeremiah, this meant that he had to leave the comfortable life he had made for himself. He had to relinquish all that had been safe and secure and respectable to become a spokesman and representative of God.Well, Jeremiah performed his job. He had worked a long time and suffered much to discourage him. He had been beaten, imprisoned, ridiculed, mocked, publicly humiliated, betrayed by close friends, plotted against and made the target of revenge. Surely we can understand his eventual collapse under the pressure.Jeremiah sunk into a state of despair when the world into which he was sent persecuted him. He permitted his zeal in the service of the Lord to be eclipsed by the magnitude of his troubles. He was strife worn, struggle weary, and tired out from trying to fix a sinning, degenerating society. His vision was out of focus; his view wasn't clear for him anymore. And so he slips into a state of depression and like Job, cursed the day he was born.That is what discouragement does to us. It obscures faith and prostitutes strength. It brings despair and depression so that it is difficult even to relate to God.But in passing, I have noticed something peculiar under the sun. I have noticed that most of us are inclined to live in terms of our feelings. We have ego problems. I suggest this because it seems as long as things progress the way we wish them to, we have a zest for living and doing. As long as life runs smoothly and our work is appreciated, then we are satisfied and pacified and gratified. As long as life is a bowl of roses, even God gets to stand in our good graces. But when circumstances are adverse we are ready to quickly point a righteous finger of blame at God or wave the white banner of surrender. When the black clouds of troubles hover over our home and all is well turns to all is hell, too many of us are ready to throw the towel in before the battle has even begun.Jeremiah was indeed human like the rest of us. And even though he shared our tendency to allow our darkened world to discourage us and distort our perspective he was yet keenly sensitive to the fact that God had called him to a service. He said, "God's word was in my heart as a burning fire, shut up in my bones and I cannot hold my peace."I can understand Jeremiah because I am Jeremiah. I understand what happens to you when the Word gets in you; you forget yourself. You find the patience to run this race. You cannot sit back and feel sorry for your pitiful self. You must "work the works of Him that sent you while it is day, the night cometh when no man can work," You cannot hold your peace because God's word cannot be contained. When God's word gets in you, you have got to tell somebody what He has done for you. You must speak it, write it, sing it, hand-sign it, preach it through musical instruments. It is like a flaming fire within our bones that eternally burns and will not let us rest.It was God's burning word that drew those long ago people out of their secure places. And God's compelling word is calling us today out of our easy places to heal the sin-sick work.When I would give up and run and hide someplace, the fire within burns: You are the light of the world, a city set on a hill cannot be hid. When I would keep silent and retreat into my secure world, the fire within burns: You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt has lost its savor how can it be restored? When I would throw the towel in and go off to myself somewhere, the fire within burns: rescue the perishing, care for the dying, lift up the fallen, encourage the young.When I would resign from my calling, I feel a fire burning within me. It is the same fire that made Abraham and Sarah leave their family and friends and home to go forth without maps or guides. It is the same fire that made Ruth break with her corporate history to dwell among a foreign people. It is the same fire that made Mother Theresa leave all and go into foreign missionary work. It is the same fire that made Mary Bethune devote her life to wiping out illiteracy among Blacks. It is the same fire that motivated Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. to preach peace in the midst of violent and hostile environments. It is the same fire…..Be encouraged today my friends. Lay aside every weight that so easily beset us and let us join together and run on. Let us run this race with perseverance, determination, with God's word burning in our bones. Let us run until like King, we can say, "I have been to the mountain top and I have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." Let us run on until like Paul we can say, "I have fought a good fight, I stayed on the battlefield, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." Be encouraged today to keep running. Let us run together until we cannot run anymore yet, with God's burning word burning in our hearts.Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available in July.You are welcome to visit AMEN Ministries: Your Soul's Service Station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification, to browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall or to peruse our recommended books.Blessings to all!
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Escape From the Dungeon: Jennifer's Survival Story

Author : Jennifer Stephens
Have you ever been encountered with a trauma in life and not know how your life would be after it was all said and done? This is a story of my trauma and how I survived and how I am taking an extreme tragedy and turning it into something spectacular.This is a story of psychological terror brought on by the hands of my mother. I am the second oldest of 16 children and the stories I am about to describe relays what it was like to live under the terror and reign of our mother. The abuse started about 35 years ago in 1970 and who knew there would be 16 direct victims and many other people affected by her manipulations when all was said and done. Hind sight is truly 20/20 and I think if things were handled differently with the 1987 felony child abuse charges in Waukesha County, there wouldn't be this tale to tell today in 2005.There are two distinct time periods in this story: the 17 years prior to 1987 and the 18 years after 1987. Unfortunately for all us children involved, the story reads nearly the same with only the children involved changing. You will find parallels in both sections that I still can't believe today and I was part of the situation from the beginning and a catalyst for this coming to light. What you will see is a very large break in the system but above all, the master manipulation that would rival the greatest minds. By manipulating her children, the social workers, the lawyers, the prosecutors, mom got off with nothing in 1987 when she was facing 18 counts of felony and misdemeanor child abuse charges, $180,000 in fines and 30 years in prison. Her ability to walk away from that without a scar only enabled her psychotic manipulating mind and that allowed mom to abuse again without fear for the next 18 years. It is heartbreaking to know and live with the fact that these actions have been addressed in the past and she ended up inflicting the same thing on my brothers and sisters as soon as the Department of Social Services stepped out of the situation in the late 80's. You often hear that history repeats itself, but I never would have imagined to be the exact same acts of manipulation, terror and intimidating abuse over such a long period of time.September 14, 1987 - This is a day that I will never forget, it was the day that I looked into my mothers eyes and saw my own mortality. It was the day that I wanted to give up trying and just pass away to the next world. This day, is engrained in so many of the kids minds that each one that witnessed it can tell you a story of psychological warfare, utter pain, mental anguish, and overall defeat. This day was worse than anything I have faced in 14 years in the military. This day was worse than anything I could imagine, it was the day that my mother tried to kill me and was the day that I saw the devil in her eyes. So much of the last 17 years have built up to this moment and this day was merely the straw that broke the camels back.This day started like any other day in our house, but it ended being a day that changed our lives forever. After school that day I was walking to my babysitting job which was a couple of miles away. One of the sneaky things I did as a teenager was to switch my clothes and hair when I got to school. Mom always made me wear skirts and two pigtails in my hair up until this day (I think she was reliving her high school years through us) and I snuck a pair of pants to school and a brush. When I got there in the morning after being dropped off I would go to the bathroom and switch out of my skirt and comb out my hair. Ted knew what I was doing but he never said much, he knew the deal. Well I took my skirt along with me when I was walking to the house I was to baby-sit at but I was still wearing my pants. Unbeknownst to me, my mother was following me in the car. She came up to me and found that I was wearing a pair of pants and had my hair down and not in pigtails which was one of her number one rules I wasn't allowed to do. She shoved me in the car and refused to let me continue to the job and she made me take off my pants in the car and she threw them out the window. To this day I do not remember how Mr. Maloney found out I wasn't going to be working there anymore, I think I was in too much shock to remember that. She started to beat me in the head, a 17 year old girl, in the car and saying things that I just can't write down on a piece of paper without cringing. All I could do was cry to myself but knew it would be over soon, until she stopped at the hair cutters. She said that since I cared so much about my hair and that I wouldn't wear the pigtails that she would have it cut off. She had my father take me in and say "cut it short" and then they left me there to get it cut. I cried in the chair the whole time and told the lady that mom was forcing this. She cried too and said she would try not to cut it too much. My dad came back to pick me up and he immediately looked at my hair and said "your mother is going to be mad". I tensed because I knew what was coming. I got home and no sooner did I walk into the door that the bug eyes my mother is so famous for came out and she went straight for my hair. She was so mad she ran over to me and started pounding on my head and my back. I screamed in pain and disbelief and this went on for a while. Then she got even more crazy, she made dad get the other two girls down from the room to watch what was about to happen to me. Mom dragged me to the bathroom by my hair holding my face up to the mirror and screaming profanities at me. She took me by the neck with her forearm and strung me up on the wall with my feet dangling. She had freakishly strong grips that you couldn't get out of and she made the girls watch as she terrorized me. I was screaming, the girls were screaming for her to stop but she wouldn't. She pushed on my neck and put her face up to mine and simply yelled at me "do you want me to kill you, do you want me to kill you now" and the only words that would come out of my mouth was "yes, yes, yes just kill me now and get it over with". She dropped me and yelled at the girls to watch what would happen to them if they ever disobeyed her and she took the knife and started chopping off my hair to the scalp. Just chopped and chopped in her fit of rage and beating me to my knees. I drained of life in that very moment. When she was done she sent us all to our black prison cells of our rooms and the girls cried for me that night. I slumped down on the bottom bunk, curled to the fetal position and prayed to God that I wouldn't wake up.September 15, 1987 – the day I left home and never looked back – After falling asleep in my locked black room in an endless pit of sorrow and despair, the time came to go to cleaning. I was to continue on like nothing had happened. My dad called into my room to get up and get into the car to go to work. I hadn't seen my hair myself yet because I had no access to mirrors after the assault. I felt my head not sure if what happened was a dream or if it really happened. I cried, I just kept crying. She took the one thing from me that I adored, my long beautiful hair. I looked like a boy and to this day I can't bear to have short hair because of the memories associated with it. I sat in the car with my head on the window feeling lifeless and I had no ounce of hope. I was done, I was finished, I wanted out of my life. I continued on with cleaning, just working through my silent tears unable to look at my father who allowed this to happen to me. How could he let this happen to his daughter? After cleaning my mother made me wear a wedding type dress to high school with my tattered hair. So there I was, 17 years old, tattered hair in a fancy dress, most assuredly used to distract from my head. She slapped me a few more times when she saw the tears on my face and cut my hair so more, to even it out she said. I just stood there, emotionless, feeling dead to the world. I got dropped off in front of school, tears in my eyes as I was stared at walking through the halls. I walked to my homeroom and then walked right past it. I didn't know where I was going but I wasn't going to class like this. I hid in the sixth floor bathroom staring at my hair, I crawled under the sink in the fetal position and just started to cry. People came in and asked me what was wrong, all I could say to them was, "go get Meg – I only want Meg". Someone listened, someone got her. To this day I don't know what I told her. I blocked so much of what happened. Someone gave me a bandana to put on my head and she took me to the chapel in the basement. She stayed with me all day – she is my hero, she saved me. She brought in Father Reiney and I told them everything. I was hungry and pulled out my lunch and was eating my spaghetti sandwich that was packed for me, Meg and I shared a laugh on that one. After I told the Father about everything he brought in a Nun and they told me what my options were. I had to find shelter for that night, somewhere where I would be safe, before I even got to say a word Meg said she would take me home with her that night. I was so scared at what was about to unfold before the both of us. We ended up getting on the bus to get to her house in Wauwatosa and she and I were embarking on our first adventure. She laughed at me on the bus because as we left Pius and traveled through the town I remarked, "oh my gosh, the street signs are blue". I never knew that the street name signs were any color other than green. We never left our little area in New Berlin. That night Meg and her mom welcomed me with open arms but the peace did not last too long. My mother found out that I was at Meg's house and she camped out in her front yard and started yelling at the top of her lungs. The police were called and I sat upstairs crying and in complete terror that she would take me back home. Meg and her mom did everything they possibly could to console me and they said that they knew someone down the street and that they were going to get me there. Poor Jane, Meg's sister, was left to endure mom's psychotic ranting and raving on the front lawn. They just got a small taste of the life I was living everyday. I was snuck out the back door and we ran down the street like we were really in hiding from the enemy. We ended up at that other house where I made a very important phone call. I hadn't talked to my dad's family in probably a decade when I called Uncle Butch and Aunt Judi in tears. I told them who I was and that I ran away from home could I stay there for the night. I can't remember what else I talked about but I ended up at their house where mom would never suspect my whereabouts. From what I was told my mother stayed on Meg's front yard for most of the night. I can't remember reintroducing myself to my relatives but looking back, I am so grateful that they opened that door for me. They have been suedo parents to me for the last 18 years and I just am in awe at their selfless acts of kindness that night. As the next day started there would be no school for me. I got up and had breakfast like a normal person. I sat at the table and served myself a meal, something that I had not done in 17 years. Aunt Judi and Uncle Butch listened as I poured out my life story at the breakfast table and they told me some of the things that I never knew about my extended family. Later that day, Father Reiney came to get me. They worked through the night for an option that would save me. This was the only option I had and ironically enough, mom's escapades from the night before at Meg's house were enough to get a restraining order. Fr. Reiney told me that they would take me to a home for runaways called Pathfinders in Milwaukee and they would protect me for two weeks. I started to cry. I just started to cry and couldn't stop. I think I said yes I would go and off we went. Fr. Reiney drove me there where I told them about the story of everything that happened in my home and then they gave me another blow. They said that they could only let me stay at Pathfinders if my parents gave permission. My world sank again, how could I escape? She would never give permission, I would be found out, I would be in the most trouble I have ever been in and I don't know what would happen. I told this to them, I told them every word that she would say to make me out to be the liar and the evil one. Word for word I described how the conversation would play out, I even shocked myself at the level of detail I provided. They called her on speaker phone, and word nearly for word it played out exactly how I explained. Somehow, someway those administrators convinced her to let me stay. I was still in my dress, she demanded it back. She demanded the clothes on my back, I borrowed some of theirs that were donated and they handed the dress over the next day. I don't remember where I slept that night, I don't remember much of anything except that was the first time in 13 years I hadn't had to get up to go to cleaning.March 23, 2004 – The day the kids were taken away… again!! – Another day in the history of our family that is difficult to forget. I received a call out of the blue from my sister saying the four kids whom I had never met or known before were taken away from mom. Jeffery had turned them in for abuse. My jaw dropped down to the ground in disbelief but more of relief. I immediately went to Annie's house and walked in and found the kids sleeping in the living room. I walked in and said "Hi, I am your sister Jennifer, boy I am glad to meet you guys!" Annie gave me a run down of what had happened. Much like myself at the very same age, Jeffery had enough. He knew that I was emancipated and made a legal adult at 17 and went to his guidance counselor to see how he could do the very same thing. From there, the police were involved and they took the four children from school and Annie took emergency custody of them. I spent that entire first day, just sitting with my brothers and sister that I never knew and just talked. I found out who they were and allowed them to meet me and know that I would be there for them. Over the course of the next few days, I became the permanent home for Nick and Jeffery. Charlie was diabetic and I could not care for him so he went to a foster home and Amber stayed with Annie. As you might imagine, these weeks became utter nightmares being brought to life all over again. Nick and Jeffery were thrown into a home with a sister they never met and I suddenly was responsible for four kids as a single parent. My rules were strict and as the emotions played out, Nick shut down on me. He left my custody after a few short weeks and went to live with Ted for a few months before moving to a permanent foster home only a mile away from my house. Amber became too much for Annie and her five children so she came to live with me and through a barrage of emotional rollercoaster's and a stint at Elizabeth's house, Amber went to a loving foster home, also just a couple of miles from my house. Jeffery had a few rough spots but now lives in his own apartment after graduating High School and loves it. As of today, the kids spend a lot of time at my house to give the foster parents a break and they are thriving beyond belief. We are hoping mom is held accountable for years to come so these last three can be given the best chance possible to succeed.27 July 2005 - Mom gets hard time - she is in prison tonight! – Judge Dreyfuss was incredible, he not only allowed every child to make their victim impact statements, but said that it was critical as to the character of Linda Stephens and her propensity to abuse again and to take advantage of her children. Each child got up there and gave their statement; each child described how they are affected today because of what mom has put us through. Each child spun their tale of manipulation, abuse and control that mom exuded over them and how they are affected today. Mom sat their stone faced without caring just staring ahead with her jaw clenched.Then the judge said his piece and then he sentenced mom. He admonished her for her 35 years of manipulation and stated that she was brilliant in her schemes and manipulations. He stated that prison can either be a punishment or to protect society. Judge Dreyfuss stated that he didn't feel she was threatening society but the threat she posed to her own children were too great to not recognize. Judge Dreyfuss sentenced her to 3 years in prison with no possibility of getting out early and then 8 years of extended supervision and probation. During those 8 years she would have to get a fulltime job (which she has never had) and pay back the people she has stolen from. She will not be allowed to have a credit/debit card, credit/debit card numbers, a computer, internet access or checking accounts due to the extent of her fraud and financial crimes. The Judge stated that she was to have no contact with the minor children ever via any means until they reach the age of 18 (the youngest now is 13). She was instructed to have absolutely no contact with the adult children in any fashion or form unless they wanted that contact and requested it and on their terms. This is so important to all of us who want nothing to do with her. Today was our closure.Jennifer has lived a truly extraordinary life. As a child, she endured the horrors of child abuse, which included physical torture, mental cruelty, and near starvation. Upon Jennifer's escape in 1987, her family was identified as one of the most severe child abuse cases in Wisconsin's history. At age 17, Jennifer's teachers risked their careers to notify the authorities and saved her life from certain death. Upon Jennifer's escape, she was made a ward of the court and placed in foster care until she became what would be her lifelong quest for higher education and she enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1991. As a young adult Jennifer was determined to better herself--no matter what mountain or land mine laid in her path and is currently a Major in the United States Army and continues to be an extreme advocate for social services, foster care, law enforcement, and prosecutors. In her off duty time, Jennifer offers programs for corporate groups, human services, Child Abuse Prevention Fund in Milwaukee, youth-at-risk, and continues to mentor for women's achievement potential.Jennifer Stephens can be reached via email at WisconsinVision@aol.com or www.jenniferstephens.org
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