Selfish or Self First?

Author : Zoe Routh
Does the thought of treating yourself make you squirm? Are you uncomfortable with rewarding yourself? Think your time could be better spent? Prefer to help others and forget about yourself? Just want to get that last report done and collapse at home?You're not alone. Many of us find it so hard to do something good for ourselves. Everything else comes first - work, family, partner. We prioritise ourselves last. We feel guilty if we do something for ourselves, thinking we don't deserve it, or we should be out there doing more - more work, more time with partner, more fun with friends, more outings with family.This kind of thinking and behaving is actually damaging to ourselves as well as those around us.How can we be a loving partner if we barely have enough energy to eat dinner and crawl into bed?
How can we be a vibrant parent if we are perpetually exhausted?
How can we be an effective supervisor if we are constantly on edge or short-tempered from fatigue?This is the paradox of the Self First Principle: put yourself first, and you, as well as everyone else, benefits.In order to be more productive, more loving, more energetic, more available, you need to look after yourself first. Only by ensuring your own needs are met first will you be able to assist others. Nurture yourself in order to better nurture others.It's like the safety briefing on the plane - "fit your own oxygen mask first before assisting others."It is also important to understand that using the Self First Principle is not being selfish. Being selfish is being inconsiderate, self-absorbed, and self-interested. Being selfish is putting yourself first, so you are the only person who benefits.The Self First principle is about self-care and sensible self-indulgence (beware - self-indulgence is NOT senseless gluttony!)By applying the Self First principle, you will unleash copious amounts of energy into your own life that you can share with those around you.Here's a few simple tips to get you started:Top Ten Tips to implement the Self First Principle1. Drink water. Lots of it. Water is essential for all key life functions in the body. It also helps flush out toxins. There are so many benefits to drinking water! Plus it is calorie free - an extra bonus for feeling good! You can go by the standard eight glasses, or 2 litres. If you are not used to drinking a lot of water, increase the amount you drink by one glass per day, for one week at a time. And then increase again the following week and so on.2. Get enough sleep. Sleep is rejuvenating as it allows the body to process waste, re-build exhausted tissue, and generally rest. Starve yourself of sleep, and you starve your brain and body of precious energy and vitality. The amount you need varies from person to person. The standard eight hours is your best bet. If you spring out of bed with less - great! If you need more to catch up on chronic sleep deprivation, make sure you take it.3. Eat fresh food. Nothing new here. The old clichés ring true: you are what you eat, garbage in = garbage out. Your energy levels will increase dramatically by adding more fresh food to your diet. Go for veggies of all colours, and any fresh fruit is great.4. Move your body. Want energy? Expend energy. Another paradox, and it works. Exercise refreshes spirit, mind, and body. Do something you enjoy, not something you feel you "should" be doing. If you are out of practise, go slowly and easily at first. Underwhelm yourself to stay motivated - go for a five-minute walk, stretch your legs, do 2 situps. Any increases can be equally underwhelming. Go little by little. The more you do, the more you'll want to do. Just enjoy it!5. Brush. Brush your teeth, brush your hair, brush your skin (with a loofah). Good grooming creates a sense of pride about your personal presentation, and boosts confidence. This creates an inner glow to complement the shiny exterior.6. Breathe. Take deep, long, slow, abdominal breaths a few times a day to help you re-centre, create a sense of calm, and flood your system with oxygen.7. Reflect. Take an "operational pause" to consider your achievements and everything you are grateful for.8. Read. Read for pleasure. Read for information. Read for learning. Reading is a quiet and energizing activity - it rests the body and activates the brain. Keep your brain stimulated and nourished, and it will respond with positive and creative thoughts. Be sure to fill your brain with good stuff - be selective on what you feed your mind as well as your body.9. Hug. It feels good to give and receive. What more reasons do you need?10.Treat yourself. Whatever this means for you - a bath, some new clothes, the latest book, a massage, a night out at the movies. Build something special for yourself into your weekly schedule. Book it in and make sure you keep the appointment. If you schedule it, you are twice as likely to make it happen. Make yourself a priority, just like all your other commitments.Copyright Inner Compass 2006Cancer survivor Zoe Routh is the Head Coach at Inner Compass, a personal development organisation that helps busy professionals work less and achieve more. Inner Compass offers practical strategies and solutions to improve personal effectiveness and live an inspired life.Zoe has worked with groups and individuals since 1987. She has worked as a trainer, coach and facilitator in helping people achieve their personal best.Inner Compass offers articles, resources, and coaching programs to help busy professionals radically improve their personal effectiveness to live an inspired life.http://www.innercompass.com.au
Keyword : selfish, self-care, stress, stress management, relaxation, health