วันอังคารที่ 19 กุมภาพันธ์ พ.ศ. 2551

Overcoming The Pain Of A Loss

Author : Tim Connor
Sooner or later in life, each of us experiences some form of emotional pain due to:- the loss of a loved one,
- the break-up of a relationship,
- the change of a job, career or business,
- or any number of other life experiences.Some people, when in the midst of pain, become emotionally immobilized and take varying amounts of time to complete the healing that comes naturally with the passage of time. Others tend to spend their time feeling sorry for themselves, blaming, or feeling any number of negative emotional responses. And some use this time to tap into the creative opportunities that can come with emotional pain.Let me explain.The continuation and maintenance of emotional pain takes lots and lots of energy. When this energy is used for negative purposes, i.e. guilt, blame, anger, etc., it steals from your creative side. Consider. Redirect this negative energy into creative thinking, planning, writing, selling - whatever.My first book of self-help fiction, and now a classic, The Ancient Scrolls, was written following a rather unpleasant divorce. I spent several months feeling sorry for myself, whining, and being generally out of sorts with the world. Then I read an interesting book by Eric Butterworth. In it he said (not an exact quote here, folks, but this is the gist of his message): "Use your pain to get in touch with who you really are, what you firmly believe and what you feel - not to delve into the depths of depression, anger, remorse and any other negative emotion responses that keep you locked in a prison of darkness."After I read that, I immediately sat down and began to create my first novel. It took three months to write but it did four things for me: 1. It took my focus off my negative circumstances 2. It opened up an entire new side of my writing 3. It helped speed up my healing, forgiveness and surrender. 4. It released all of the energy that was being used to maintain my negative emotional state and freed it up to be used elsewhere in my life.Pain can tap into your soul's creative genius if you will only take the first step. Be willing to let go of the negative emotional pain that is filling your consciousness. If you like any of the books by Og Mandino, Richard Bach and James Redfield, I guarantee you'll love The Ancient Scrolls. It's a really great book! Visit my website to order your autographed copy. It would also make a great gift for someone special.No one likes pain – emotional, physical or spiritual pain. Each of us wants to sail through life from birth to death without ever having:- been betrayed.
- been abandoned.
- been lied to.
- failed.
- had insurmountable problems.
- risked it all and lost.
- been disappointed.
- …this list goes on and on and on.I, for one, know the value of pain. I have had my share during life. I know the pain of loss, failure, abandonment and all of the ones on the list plus a few. You, too, have had some kind of pain – I guarantee it. I don't care how old or young you are – no one escapes this teaching tool that life uses to soften, humble, mold, take the arrogance or fear from or just teach us that there is more for us to do in this life that we can't do until our rough edges have been smoothed out.Those of you who have reached this day without any significant pain in your life are missing – so far – a wonderful opportunity for growth. Now I am well aware it is difficult to convince someone that a divorce, loss of a loved one or a job or any other adversity is a blessing and an opportunity to grow. However, having spent over 50 years traveling through life and having the wonderful privilege of meeting thousands of people, I have come to a conclusion: sooner or later everyone who has experienced some form of pain – when they look back on it – agree that it was not only a time of testing, but also a time of growth and learning. Here are a few of the benefits of pain that I have learned over the years.
Pain:1. introduces you to who you really are.2. lets you have a peek into the future.3. releases great creativity.4. begins the healing process.5. is a signal that something needs to change.6. helps you see that you have choices.7. gives you the opportunity to grow or remain stuck.8. is impersonal. It isn't picking on any one group or individual.9. develops in you the capacity to handle more pain in the future.Don't ever deaden the pain you are feeling. Get in touch with it. Feel it. Understand it. Learn from it. Use it. And then move on through it. Then let it go.Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com
Keyword : grief, loss, pain, death, separation, dying

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